Why Having Period Conversations Matter

Let’s talk about blood, baby.

For some, period sex is a hard pass.

For others, it’s a delicious yes.

And honestly, for plenty of women in between, it’s not so much about the sex itself but about the conversations that lead up to it.

Because here’s the thing: if we can’t even talk about our bleeds at home — or with the person we want to do the deed with! — without shame, how can we possibly talk about what we want (or don’t want) in bed during that time?

That’s why I’m thrilled to share this edition of Voices Between the Sheets from Samantha Garstin — aka The Period Princess — who’s on a mission to boot period stigma straight into the bin. Samantha and I connected within the comments section of a LinkedIn post and I’m so glad we did.

Here’s Samantha:

“If, like me, you’re from the generation that shoved tampons up your sleeve, dealt sanitary pads in dark corners like contraband, and considered buying tampons a public humiliation second only to buying condoms...

Then chances are, you were also from an era where being on your period was also the week you had 'sudden and unexpected plans' that meant you couldn't see your boyfriend.

Suddenly ‘busy’ with some vague, urgent thing that just so happened to last 3–5 days. At least, that’s my memory.”

A Truth About Menstrual Blood

Ohhh, can’t you just feel that? The cloak-and-dagger tampon deals, the whispered excuses, the way we learned early that periods and pleasure couldn’t coexist. And if you were the suddenly ghosted boyfriend? Oof!!

And yet… fast forward a few decades, and many of us are still carrying that shame into our bedrooms.

What if, instead of shame, we held blood as sacred?

Because here’s a sexological truth most of us were never taught: menstrual blood isn’t “dirty” at all. In fact, it contains stem cells — the same life-generating potential found in placentas. That’s literal liquid gold we flush away each month.

Historically, some cultures understood this. Menstrual blood was honoured in pagan rituals as a symbol of fertility and renewal. Even the old whispers about “blood being a lubricant” aren’t so far from the truth — arousal can increase during menstruation, and combined with blood flow, sex can feel heightened, raw, and deeply primal.

Intimacy, Honesty & Period Talk

*“Of course, being a teen in the 90s, raised on such lyrical wisdom as 'Hit me baby one more time' meant that our roles in relationships were... a little skewed.

If I was grumpy, tearful, and tired (which, let’s face it, was most of the week), I worried my boyfriend wouldn’t know what to do with that and wouldn’t make space for it.

So best to develop a sudden case of mystery illness, nurse my crampy, bleeding body in private, and then pop out the other side… preened, plucked, and back to ‘normal’... doting girlfriend mode reactivated.”*

Sound familiar? That impulse to retreat, to hide, to tuck away the messy human parts of ourselves instead of letting them be seen?

*“My partner once told me I was the first girlfriend he’d ever had who got period pain.

Or got grouchy. 🤔

‘Oh really?’ I said, with a smirk. Then asked if he remembered ever not seeing them for a few days, unexpectedly?

‘I hate to break it to you,’ I told him, ‘but I don’t think they were being 100% honest with you.’

As you can imagine, being the Period Princess, I’ve had many conversations with my lovely man. And he’s always listened. He’s open, curious, and wants to understand how my hormones impact me (even if for self-preservation 😆) and what I need to support me through it.”*

The honesty for me in that moment is intimacy. Not just sex, but the trust that allows us to show up as messy, moody, fully bloody human.

Because pleasure doesn’t always look like lingerie and roses, does it? Sometimes it looks like your partner running out for tampons, or shrugging off blood on the sheets with “no big deal”.

And sometimes, it looks like reclaiming period sex for yourself. Choosing whether to rest, to say no, or to lean into the unique sensations and closeness it can bring.

But Wait, Menstrual Blood As Medicine?

When I think about reframing periods, I’m reminded of a fascinating moment from 2019, when I was invited to join a peer group discussion for a university student’s research project after I had recently delivered my talk ‘Bloody Women’ to a women’s business networking group. She was exploring whether menstrual blood could be collected safely for medical use, much like cord blood donation.

Imagine that: the very fluid so often dismissed as “gross” could one day be used as a healing, regenerative resource. I never found out the outcome of that study (and I’d love to know if it went anywhere), but it always stays with me as an extra reminder: our bodies are fucking amazing.

Shames, Stains, And Supportive Partners

*“So once, when we were away for the weekend and my bleed arrived early in an ‘early evening sabotage’ (Perimenopause, again, I’m looking atchu). I’d taken precautions, popped in my cup, and went to bed.

Alas, when I awoke and I saw the pristine white sheets in our hotel stained with a large blood drop.

First thought..... Embarrassment

Second thought..... What will my lovely man think?

Third thought..... Wait! My job is literally about eradicating these types of feelings around periods.

I was surprised by the immediate but very deep-seated feelings of shame. So I rectified that and reminded myself I'm not embarrassed, that's just a hangover from my 14-year-old self. This is just… being a person who bleeds.

My lovely man cares not. After a decade together, we've seen each other in various states. He nonchalantly said it was no big deal, but suggested maybe wearing pads too if my periods are getting heavier (when the student becomes the teacher 😂).”*

Breaking The Silence, Reclaiming The Pleasure

That right there is why I adore Samantha’s work - because even those of us who teach this stuff sometimes catch ourselves back in the body of our 14-year-old selves, flushing red with shame.

But pleasure begins with permission. Permission to be in your body exactly as it is. To say yes, to say no, or to say “let’s grab a towel and see what happens.”

So I’ll leave you with this:

How are you talking about your period at home? With your partner, your kids, your friends? And how does that shape the way you show up in intimacy?

A right royal curtsy of thanks to Samantha Garstin — The Period Princess 👑🩸 — for spilling the (cranberry) tea with me. She’s out there slaying period stigma with her Bloody Marvellous Workshops and 1:1 coaching, helping every body and brain feel seen, supported, and sparkly.

Because the more we talk, the less we hide. And the less we hide, the more space there is for real, messy, glorious pleasure.

With love and bloody sparkles,

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