I'm In Social Media Jail

Do you know what I do?

Of course you do, you’re on my website so you have the capability of reading and processing information.

I’m a sex coach and I help people in relationships, individually or together in their relationship dynamic, work out what their pleasure goals are and how to achieve them. I also host workshops and fun 18+ events in Nottingham, UK and further afield. I’m also a keynote speaker talking to groups of employees about the whole-body benefits of pleasure. And I go into schools to talk to young adults about healthy sex and relationships.

In my coaching sessions, there is always an element of re-eductation about bits and bobs and their workings and doings

because I know that lots of people had the same kind of sex education as I did as a youngster, ie, not very much. So I learned from

👉🏼 diagrams from an awkward biology teacher

👉🏼 listening to what people in school used to say and do

👉🏼 taking on board everything in romance films (derived and influenced by porn, let’s face it) and

👉🏼 on-the-job training when I thought I was ready to embark on this exciting activity

So it’s fair to say that

I am an educator in the pursuit of pleasure and passion

How do I tell people that I’m here to help?

Much as every other business does, with email marketing (are you on my list?), networking, talking to people and by splashing my face all over social media and my message is clear

Sex and pleasure are not things to be embarrassed or ashamed by

So of course, I don’t censor myself.

❌

Wrong. I actually have to and it goes against every grain.

Because I must be considerate and sensible about information that I put out into the ether in case young and impressionables are on the lookout. I know that a great many people abuse social media in this way, likely to dish out a shock factor in the hopes of going viral.

But I like to think I am responsible in my delivery because I only offer facts, in that bodies are to be loved and enjoyed by their owners.

Still, I must censor myself typing things like s2x, peen, and 🦆. Honestly, if you follow me on social media, you’ll see I get creative with my emojis.

I tread a fine line every single time I post on social media, wondering if this is the post that’ll see me banged up in Social Media Jail.

Well. It happened.

My Instagram profile got shadow-banned

...more a probation, I suppose.

“Your content can’t be shown to people who don’t follow you”

My crimes were cited as follows

🍉 An image & post I shared in support of breast cancer awareness

💦 A review of a product that might help peri- or post-menopausal women

🧘🏼‍♀️ A reminder about the benefits of mindful practice for pleasure

💫 A post about partners' mismatched libido and a way you can overcome the challenge

I know.

Ridonkulous

There are some creators for whom their account gets reported, but that wasn’t the case, it was the algorithm that collared me - my use of the hashtag #sexcoach seems to have been the problem, but who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

We all get to enjoy social media if we want to and we get to curate the content we see. If something you don’t like makes you uncomfortable, you can simply swipe past, unfollow or mute the creator. You can do the same with your email inbox.

Enthusiastic consent, right? It lives everywhere.

(Of course, malevolence does slip through the net and anything that is illegal or looks like it might be causing harm should absolutely be reported. I don’t need to tell you that, you’re intelligent enough to know the difference.)

The “offensive” elements pertaining to “nudity or sexual activity”, have been removed or emoji’d because these posts offer great value to people - one was raising awareness about breast cancer and encouraging body positivity, for goodness sake!

I have no idea how long I’ll be doing bird but I will continue to share on social media because I know my message to be true and authentic and with no nefarious agenda.

Pleasure is pleasure and if we say otherwise, we continue to live in shame and taboo, limiting expression, creativity, and the very core of our beings.

So, welcome to my Ted Talk, please and thank you for reading until the end of my rant.

with pleasure,

I hope you've enjoyed reading this - I would love to hear your thoughts! Perhaps you might also enjoy

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