Talk about it!
Talk about it!
Do you talk about Doing the Doodah?
I hope you’ll know by now that I am 100% a complete advocate of giving feedback in the moment - in the form of appreciative noises, moans, groans, the ‘do more of this, please’s and the ‘a little bit less pressure there’s.
But I’m here to tell you that THIS time is not the time for talking about concerns or issues about sex.
If like me you are a massive fan of the great Esther Perel, you'll know she speaks about this A LOT, and with good reason because how we relate to another so important.
That schizz needs to be spoken about in a neutral time and place - not the bedroom when you’re getting it on.
If have some something that’s causing you concern - from wanting to try something new to feeling like the mattress action is getting a tad stale - there’s a high likelihood that your PlayPal might have their own sensitivities about it. Or maybe not. But there’s definitely a time and a place and High Horn is not the one.
We all grow into adulthood with our own perspective on sex and yes, we all have our own hang-ups about it too which can feel uber triggering. If you bump bits with this person I’ll bet my last pair of knickers that you quite like them and probably care about them. And no-one wants to hurt another’s feelings, do they?
So.
Find a neutral place and time, check with your partner that they have the bandwidth to have a conversation - if they don’t, schedule a time. Much rather have a receptive audience than one on the Backfoot, right? We need this convo to be comfortable for both of you so all involved feel heard and understood.
I appreciate that many people find it difficult to talk about sex, if this is you, please don’t suffer - jump on a Discovery Call with me because I can definitely coach you around having this awkward AF conversations! And just so you know, I can speak with you in-person or online, on your own or with your partner.
Normalise these conversations by making them a regular, positive experience - don’t just wait until the sky feels like it’s falling in, Chicken Licken!
with pleasure,
I hope you've enjoyed reading this - I would love to hear your thoughts! Perhaps you might also enjoy
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