Igniting the Spark: The Power of Risk in the Lifestyle
Everybody I speak with is really interested in my work as a sex coach and given that I am ever a student of sexology, I am fascinated to listen and learn about people's unique and individual perspective and experience.
A topic that is regularly discussed with me is different relationship styles, swinging or open relationships. It can be a liberating or emotive topic - perhaps take a look at one of the recommended posts at the foot of this blog post or at the fabulous resources of Purple Mamba Private Members Club in Nottingham. These sexy peeps have a wonderful community of people with all manner of experience in this lifestyle.
So here, I introduce the first of my Guest Blogs, which has always been an intention of mine. Some of authors of these guest blog posts will be cited, some will remain anonymous. Who knows, they may even be from me.
Perhaps you might even be interested to submit a blog yourself
Igniting the Spark: The Power of Risk in the Lifestyle
Where does your spark come from? Those little flashes of inspiration and passion that just makes the world more exciting. The minute catalysts of imagination, firing away on all cylinders, extinguishing the mundane to welcome in the electrifying. It’s all very exciting, but where does the initial spark ignite?
In a world where entertainment is spoon-fed to us on a gilded platter, with the automated and ‘AI’d’ catering for our every whim, it can all become a little…. stale. Algorithms suggest what we could be wearing, eating, enjoying across multiple mediums, from the phone in our hand to the advert on a bus stop. Our thoughts and desires are often carefully curated and styled by faceless drones in a factory in China, ensuring that we never have to make an uncomfortable decision about what to eat tonight. Over time, the spark dwindles. The days become blurred, punctuated by family events, milestone birthdays and new commutes. Months and years become shorter, until you’re not quite sure where the time went. The light went out.
Sparks of imagination come from learning new things, facing new and often challenging experiences. Your neurological pathways are forced to create new ways of thinking to adapt to the environment around you and as so, fire new sparks to reignite the passion. Life returns, the mundane grey is replaced, and those little flashes of inspiration just makes the world more exciting.
But… the vital ingredient is risk. Risk-taking is the starting point on any mad, crazy, wonderful adventure. Without risk, there is no new.
Such as it is for those in the Lifestyle. Every single one of us had to take a leap of faith once. To talk to a partner about their fantasies. To explore new kinks. To try on that lingerie. To walk in through the doors of a swinger’s club or BDSM dungeon. There is no definitive guide to starting in the Lifestyle as every journey and experience is different. It’s those initial risk-takers that make up what the Lifestyle is all about – they are creative, passionate, imaginative and exciting. The new friends, experiences and encounters all clash to make sparks of passion, imagination and inspiration.
Revealing your inner self is a true risk. In a world where it is best to conform, to do the opposite is to bare the soul – to show others your desires and fantasies and present your vulnerabilities. The Lifestyle is about honesty, communication, consent and trust. To explore with another human your innermost desires leave one vulnerable to exclusion, humiliation and despair. You could be labelled as dysfunctional and disgusting, far removed from the mundane society of the safe ‘automated and AI’d’. Taking the risk of even considering the Lifestyle could leave one with no partner, no job, no safe space in society. You could be seen as a social reject with your deviations best removed from others as they don’t fit an easy algorithm.
In a world where it is best to conform, to do the opposite is to bare the soul – to show others your desires and fantasies and present your vulnerabilities.
Nonsense of course.
Humans will always need to create. It’s part of humanity to express art, to feel and display passion. Without the spark, we are nothing more than drones fulfilling tasks. Without the risk, there is no reward.
I see it in the mundane after. It is the risk-takers who make change. It is the risk-takers who create new business, new flavours in the kitchen, new theories, new design. It is the risk-takers who challenge the mundane and make it a little bit quirky and exciting. It is the risk-takers who give us a smile on the way to work and brighten up the day.
Everyone is scared to take risks. That’s why it’s a risk, you are unsure about the outcome. It could go wrong. The gamble could be lost. But with risk comes reward. You’ll only discover that once you take the first steps into the Lifestyle and discover your spark.
Have you enjoyed reading this? I really hope you have.
Do you feel compelled to comment or respond to the words of the author? Please do.
Are you called to share an experience or perspective of your own? I am all in, simply follow this link to see some more information.
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