Say what you want!

It’s so important to say what you want.

But there’s so much noise that if you whisper your precious desires, there’s a danger it’ll get swept away in the current of the other voices.

I get it - it's hard!!

Add sex and pleasure into the mix and so many find it even more difficult because over the centuries we’ve been taught to take care of other people first. You only do you after that.

This is particularly true for women because society has always expected that women should be behind the kitchen sink with children attached to the hem of her appropriate lengthed skirt because men were the hunters and women stayed to look after the offspring.

At least, that's what we've always been told but fairly recent archaeological excavations found evidence that actually, women were quite amazing hunters too.

TBF, I've added in the word 'amazing', but if tools were discovered alongside female bones AND the bones of large mammals. I think that's pretty amazing for someone of the 'weaker', 'fairer' sex.

And for my own pleasure, I'm going to say that they were woolly mammoth bones because in my imagination she was a gorgeous sexy badass!

Let's be clear, I am not man-hating here - I love guys!!

I also believe we've ALL been screwed over by the patriarchy.

So can we just fucking get rid now?!

I struggled personally for years standing up and asking for what I wanted in bed. But I promise, I put the work in and it's worth it.

We SHOULD be informed about our own pleasure; The World Health Organisation states that sexual pleasure - not just health - is a key component of whole-body wellness and health.

YOU are the expert of your own body

🫵🏼

I've taught more than 1200 hours of yoga classes over the last ten years and I've said this hundreds of times; nobody knows how something feels in your body.

So how can someone else be expected to just know, like it’s an inherent part of their own intuition?

It's unrealistic and unfair to put your pleasure into the hands of another human who could very well have different genitals from you and probably hasn't got a Scooby Doo about what you like, where to poke, or what to rub.

STOP THE CLOCK ⏰

Another thing I want to tell you...

I. Can. Help!

You're doing a great job by landing on this kind of sex-positive blog post. I'm launching my new Pleasure Pathfinders membership vibe tribe is for people exactly like you. Every month I’m going down and dirty on a different sex topic.

You will learn

You will laugh

You’ll put your new knowledge into practice with the sauciest of homework assignments whether you’re in a relationship or not.

You can think of it as being a regular community like the Women's Circle I've hosted for years - it's great to have people on your side who you can giggle with and who can support each other.

And you can practice saying what you want in the safety of a great group with me holding your hand.

The fun palace will be online with a different masterclass each month so it doesn't matter where you are in the world, but and if you live near Nottingham, you’ll get access to my in-person events as well for FREE!

Even if this particular offering isn’t for you, someone you know could be having waaay more pleasure in their lives if they knew all this stuff was here - so tell someone about me or share this blog post because you could actually make a difference for other people's lives.

Have you enjoyed reading this? I really hope it's given you a sparkle because I applaud your curiosity

with pleasure,

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